Thursday, April 12, 2007

Playoff Hate

Neate Sager has a good piece on the relationship between the playoffs and hate. Personally, aside from the Leafs I make all of my picks based on hate and you could probably say that cheering for the Leafs is a kind of self-hate. First I want all of the Canadian teams to lose (no need to have their obnoxious loads of bandwagon fans in my face) then it goes by past sins against the Leafs. That gets rid of Detroit, New Jersey, both New York teams, Buffalo (screw that entire state!), Tampa Bay and the Thrashers (I don't like Southleast division teams and their stupid third place guarantee). That leaves the Sharks, Predators, Wild, Stars, Ducks, and Penguins as acceptable Stanley Cup champions. Basically, I know no fans of those teams so I won't have to put up with their crap during the next season and until the Leafs win the cup (or the end of my life, whichever comes first...please God the Stanley Cup).

The article runs down the degree of discomfort of each team. Some of them are too low like Buffalo a 3?! Add in the arrogant fans that made 2005-2006 Stanley Cup Champs videos and their diving and their jackass coach and that makes them about a 14 while others seem to be graded using the wrong standard. Emphasis mine:

Ottawa's degree of discomfort: 1/2. No one, but no one has suffered as a people the way Senators fans have. Please ignore that 14 seasons is only one-sixth as long as the Boston Red Sox fanbase went without a World Series title, or barely one-30th as long as the people of India lived under British colonial rule. We can't have that sort of thing -- what's it called, perspective? -- here.

Ottawa has the Bestest Hockey Team Ever, until they lose two in a row -- or don't win convincingly enough. Then they have the Worstest Team Ever and it's time to see if "we" can see if there's a team in the Finnish Elite League who would be willing to take Jason Spezza for a used bag of pucks and an extra set of goalie equipment.Worst of all, the forelock-tugging, Leaf-lambasting, we're-good-too, please-notice-us routine has become tiresome. It's the same old gag. The Sens rip through the regular season, do their annual spring revue of The Dying Swan In Padded Shorts, and everyone who kept insisting it all along wouldn't happen again says, "I knew it all along." Sure you did, pal.

Good luck on getting a refund on that replica sweater you had customized to say "LEAF SUX SINCE 67" where the name and number usually go.The irony is many sens fans are blinkered when it comes to realizing the rest of Canada would like to be in their corner if they weren't such a bunch of wankoffs (PPP's Note: As always, there are exceptions to every rule so if you think it applies to you it doesn't. Unless you've never been here and then it probably does). Besides, you can never get tired of hearing Lyndon Slewidge perform O Canada deep into spring.

That's all pretty accurate but I would have assumed that those traits would make them easier to hate. I think Neate graded them on the pity factor. Easy mistake to make.

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