The Explanation

I have been of the theory that the sens lost to the Ducks because The Wrath of Alfie had no targets on the Ducks. After dispatching Gary Roberts, one of the main cogs in a couple of BoOs, Marty Brodeur, he who kept the sens from losing in the Finals in 2003, and the Sabres, who had embarrassed the heavily favoured sens last year, the Ducks presented no one for whom the hate could flow.

Bitter Leaf Fan has come up with the real reason: Beards. Or the lack thereof. Need proof?

Biggest disappearing act in the playoffs by an impending free agent? Daniel Briere. Why? Because he can’t grow a beard – Briere grows facial hair like he’s the daughter of the bearded lady at the circus.

Hands down, the most consistent Senators in the finals - the guy that coach Murray said he wished he had a dozen of? Mike Fisher. Which Sen had the best playoff beard? Mike Fisher.

The goalie at the other end of the ice? Well, he ran into some pretty bad karma in game five – scoring on his own net to kill any momentum Alfredsson’s short-handed goal might have brought. In fact, many would argue that Emery had his worst run of games in the Stanely Cup final. Why? What was the cause of his poor play? The man is named Razor. Think about that for a moment. The Sens goalie is the anti-beard.

So here is Bitter's advice:

The Sens need to throw away their lady philishaves, get rid of those pink venus razors, home waxing kits and their disposable Gillette Daisy Plus - whatever their training staff put out in the clubhouse - and they need to get on the beard bandwagon.

To make it easy on sens fans BLF added pictures and don't worry, they are already coloured in. I can only hope that the Leafs institute a no-shaving policy all year long. If it can get you 16 wins in the playoffs imagine how many it could get you over 82!