Thursday, November 24, 2005

Yuck! Bruins 5 Leafs 1

By The Meatriarchy

The only positive thing you can take out of this one is that the Leafs were universally bad. This gives Pat Quinn plenty of reason to take them to the woodshed.

Although I don't know why he would want to show them a small building filled with wood. If fact what do woodshed's have to do with hockey anyway?

Perhaps since so many of the players are from rural Canada he could say "look at this woodshed - if you weren't a reasonably talented hockey player you would probably be working here. Or if not here in some sort of resource based field like logging or mining or perhaps a guide for American fisherman and hunters" is that what you want? Because you will be doing it soon if you don't play better. "

Of course this message would probably be lost on the European players. For them he could say "how would you like to be back in Europe where your taxes would make Canada look like an Ayn Rand paradise and where you would live in one of those apartment buildings with a shared shower down in the basement and you have to go light that stupid little propane heater a half hour before just to heat up some water and then someone jumps in 5 minutes before you do? And the toilets are weird and have that stupid shelf on them so your poop is way too close to you and you freak out every time you turn around to flush it?"

At least that's what I would say. Because I am the Meatriarchy and I know how to motivate.

BTW: can we get a friggin' exorcist in to rid Belfour of Arturs Irbe's ghost? It is getting really tiresome.

9 comments:

  1. OK, that was pretty funny, but the whole toilet shelf thing confuses me....

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  2. If you have ever been to Germany you will know what I mean.

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  3. I saw the "highlight" a number of times, and still never could see who was in goal when Belfour decided he was a skater (... and coughed up the puck with predictable results). It is special to watch a goalie closer to the blue line than the goal crease when a certain light turns red.

    And I've been to Germany a few times and don't recall anything particularly strange about their toilets. Are you perhaps referring to certain models of toilets (I've seen them in Canada), with a shallow bowl and water only towards the back? On which I'll usually sit farther back and lean farther forward?

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  4. Duff Wormburner11/24/2005 8:52 PM

    YooHoo ,five-0,where are you?...Nothing to say?...How about"We'll beat those sens in the playoffs this year!!!".Doesn't have the same sound this time .You know why Five-0?..cause your Buds won't make the playoffs this year bud! that's right and you know it too.You see there is no room for the buds when the Devils and the lightning enter back in the playoff picture.

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  5. Paul: actually the reverse. When I was in Germany the toilets had a very small bowl where the water was and it was in front of the toilet (and it was deep) and the rest was this real shallow ledge..... I'll let you figure it out from there.

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  6. Actually here's a picture: http://www.fivetools.com/pix/europe2003/continent/munich.htm

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  7. Thanks for the update (I guess :). I see what you mean. And I don't recall encountering that particular configuration on my trips to Germany.

    But I can certainly appreciate the juxtaposition of the current Leaves season and that particular imagery.

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  8. Leafs lost. Woowoo.

    I just didn't want to comment on poop.

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  9. Duff Wormburner11/25/2005 7:09 PM

    Maybe you should trade Alison for Bonk!

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